Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
