look no pants
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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