After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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