i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
