You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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