Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
