i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize