My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
why is half of my head shaved?
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