why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
