VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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