So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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