No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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