There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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