Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize