What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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