never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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