I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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