The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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