Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
