is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
