I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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