And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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