Jerry, you need to find god
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize