How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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