THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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