I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
