Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
