If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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