I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so let's talk penis.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
