last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
