you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
pray to the hookup gods
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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