My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
