I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
