And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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