I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I still have a little drunk in my system
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
