She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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