man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
