I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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