at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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