How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize