never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
