Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
