I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
