Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize