The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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