I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
where am i from again
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
