I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
