I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
