its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
