went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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