Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
