under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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