You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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