i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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