There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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