i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
