I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
