just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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