Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize