Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just invented taco cereal.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
