so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
