Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Pooping to opera.
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