Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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