dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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