oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize