so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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