Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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