i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
